from the Sarah Chevallier
Name: Holden Caulfield Decades: 19 Career: “Jobs” try to possess phonies which “care” throughout the phony things like “bills” and you can “food” Regarding the Holden: Just wanting everyday matchmaking, given that every person’s a fake with the exception of myself (obviously). Sidebar, I am not saying completely sure “phony” form everything i consider it means.
In the event the Literature’s “Difficult Males” Was Into Tinder
Name: Heathcliff Years: Actually not a clue. Occupation: Mergers (using my enemies’ parents) and you will purchases (of its money and glee). On Heathcliff: Invested extended fostering one #RevengeBody and have #RevengeWealth, but now I’m wanting a fantastic, gullible girl to settle down with, if at all possible individual that only has become linked to my challenger, which and additionally just is partnered on my young people buddy. You understand, having normal, completely maybe not nefarious factors.
Name: Odysseus Years: 38 Profession: King off Ithaca who is one hundred% Not having a midlife crisis On the Odysseus: I am everything about that wanderlust lifetime: it is more about the journey, maybe not the brand new appeal, you realize? Specially when brand new appeal is full of “responsibilities” eg “governance,” “parenthood,” and “matrimony in order to a female who is demonstrably smarter than me as she evades offered for example intimate chattel for ten years while I doof up to fucking arbitrary witches and blinding you to definitely-eyed giants.” Sign-up me personally on trip, child.
Name: Edward Rochester Decades: 43 Career: Rich widower. Yep, the existing golf ball and you may strings was inactive. Real deceased. Not currently in my own attic getting restrained having an actual basketball and you will chain. Regarding Edward: Wanting a young lady who will mistake my personal brooding seems and you can condescending misanthropy for tragic torment, and preferably are with the manager-staff roleplay. Bonus in the event that she likes babies but not adequate one she actually is set of of the just how imply I am on my accompanied child.
Name: Winner Frankenstein Many years: 34 Profession: Doc, scientist Throughout the Victor: Interested in a partner just who offers my personal warmth towards the mysteries from lifetime but would also become right up to possess a relentless see to recapture and you will kill my personal dated roommate away from my personal days during the the College or university regarding Ingolstadt. Sense of adventure is crucial, given that i get off to the Northern Pole next week.
Name: Jay Gatsby Decades: What age would you like me to be hahah Occupation: Influencer, Renaissance Boy Regarding the Jay: I am weirdly like him or her, however, such as for instance a fabulously steeped and you may mysterious brand of him you to you would have never left with no GODDAMN Reasoning on the beginning, Daisy.
Name: Rodion Raskolnikov Many years: 21 Career: Scholar, Outrageous Son who theoretically it could be entirely ok in the event the the guy simply murdered a wireclub PЕ™ihlГЎsit se classic lady, since I mean, he or she is over the top, however discover, merely commercially please don’t name that mean cop who keeps snooping as much as. In the Rodion: I am simply a better-than-typical man selecting a virtually angelically a beneficial woman which have an effective heartbreaking tale who’ll for no valid reason purchase herself so you’re able to my personal redemption that is most on the experiencing me reciting my personal half-baked Opinions 101 “concepts.”
Name: Jake Barnes Years: 31 Career: Expat, alcohol On the Jake: Very macho. However, obviously, not impotent. Most to your angling and you can obsessing along the personal and you can sexual selection out of a female who’s completely only a buddy ( you know, not the same that capable of making her own options, on account of you to really ladybrain). Most importantly: perhaps not Jewish.
Name: Hamlet Age: 26 Industry: Coming Queen regarding Denily is actually that which you if you ask me. Like in, I won’t other people until I rip my children, loved ones, or maybe even my personal nation apart based on a discussion I got using my father’s ghost precisely how it is so Gross that Mother and you will Cousin C are doing it, and then he concurred that it’s entirely regular you to I am therefore fixated on my mom’s sexual life. My last spouse was not one skills, therefore I’m shopping for somebody who often support myself within this tough time and will not possess a drilling cow anytime We stab the girl dad and you will verbally abuse her.
Name: Lucifer Ages: Not Applicable Career: Ex-angel, Self-employed opponent out of Goodness and his awesome manufacturing About Lucifer: I actually created matchmaking, thus this is Heck.